Can't Fall Asleep or Can't Stay Asleep? The Hormone Truth Behind Your Insomnia
You're exhausted. Bone-tired. The kind of tired where you could cry.
Maybe you crawl into bed at 10pm, yawning, eyes heavy—but your brain has other plans. You toss. You turn. You scroll your phone. Watch just one more episode. Try desperately to trick your body into shutting down. And before you know it, it's 3am.
Or maybe you fall asleep just fine. But then—like clockwork—you jolt awake at 2am, 3am, maybe 4am. Your mind starts racing. Your stomach is growling. And no matter what you try, you cannot fall back asleep.
Either way, morning comes too soon. The alarm goes off. Kids need you. Life demands you show up.
And you do. Because that's what you do.
But here's what I need you to know: you're not broken. And this isn't just "bad sleep habits" or "getting older."
What you're experiencing is your hormones sending you a very loud SOS signal that something in your body needs support.
Two Sleep Patterns, One Hormonal Root Cause
If you're struggling with sleep in your late 30s or 40s, you're likely experiencing one of two patterns:
Pattern 1: Tired But Wired You're exhausted all day, but come evening, your energy spikes. You can't settle down. Your brain won't shut off. You lie in bed for hours, unable to fall asleep until the early morning hours.
Pattern 2: The 3am Wake-Up You fall asleep relatively easily, but then wake up between 1-4am and cannot get back to sleep. Your mind races, your heart might be pounding, and sometimes you're ravenously hungry.
Here's the truth: while these patterns look different, they stem from one core issue—your body's stress response system is dysregulated. When your HPA axis (the command center for stress and hormones) gets thrown off balance, it triggers a domino effect: progesterone drops, blood sugar becomes unstable, cortisol spikes at the wrong times, and estrogen starts its wild perimenopausal rollercoaster. It's all connected.
Your body is on a hormonal rollercoaster, and sleep is one of the first passengers to get thrown off.
Why Waking Up at 3am Is Actually a Perimenopause Symptom
If you're experiencing the middle-of-the-night wake-up, here's something most women don't know: it's actually one of the nine diagnostic signs of perimenopause (Briden, 2018).
Yes, you read that right. That 3am wake-up isn't random—it's hormonal.
During perimenopause (which can start as early as your mid-30s), your body goes through what is referred to as a "neurological rewiring"—think of it as a second puberty for your brain. Estrogen levels can spike up to three times higher than they were in your 30s, before crashing down hard (Briden, 2018).
These spikes are overstimulating. The crashes? They trigger withdrawal symptoms—night sweats, anxiety, and yes, wide-awake insomnia at 3am.
The Progesterone Problem (AKA: Where's My Calm?)
Whether you can't fall asleep or can't stay asleep, progesterone is a major player.
Progesterone is your body's natural "keep calm and carry on" hormone. It converts into a neurosteroid called allopregnanolone, which binds to GABA receptors in your brain—basically, your nervous system's brake pedal (Briden, 2018).
But here's the kicker: progesterone is often the first hormone to decline in perimenopause.
Without that calming brake, your mind spins. You lie there rehashing every conversation from the day, mentally rewriting your to-do list, catastrophizing about things that may never happen. Your brain simply won't shut off.
And if you're under chronic stress (hello, mental load, career demands, and never-ending caregiving responsibilities), your body prioritizes making cortisol—your stress hormone—over progesterone. It's like your body is saying, "We're in survival mode. Sleep can wait."
Spoiler alert: sleep cannot wait.
The Tired-But-Wired Pattern: My 3am Story
Let me paint you a picture from my early 40s—because I lived the "can't fall asleep" version of this nightmare.
I'd spend my afternoons barely keeping my eyes open, lying on the couch wondering what was wrong with me. But come 5pm? Boom. Energy surge. I'd power through making dinner, and then—because I felt so guilty about "slacking off" all day—I'd open my laptop and work late into the night.
By 10pm, I was tired but wired. Eyes glued to a screen. Brain buzzing. I'd crawl into bed, reach for my phone, binge a show… and suddenly it's 3am and my stomach is growling. I'd stumble to the kitchen, make a sandwich, and almost immediately fall asleep.
Only to be jolted awake a few hours later by little kids who didn't care that I'd only slept 2.5 hours.
Sound familiar?
The Blood Sugar-Cortisol Connection
Whether you're waking up at 3am or finally falling asleep at 3am, blood sugar crashes and cortisol spikes are often the culprit.
Here's what's happening: when your blood sugar drops too low overnight, your body perceives this as an emergency. It releases cortisol and adrenaline to tell your liver to dump glucose back into your bloodstream (Prior, 2018).
The result? You're wide awake. Heart racing. Sometimes ravenously hungry.
This is why eating something—like my 3am sandwich—can actually help you fall back asleep. Your body finally gets the glucose it needed, the stress response calms down, and sleep becomes possible again.
Your HPA Axis Is Begging for a Break
Under normal circumstances, cortisol should follow a natural rhythm: high in the morning to get you going, and low between midnight and 4am so you can experience deep, restorative sleep (Prior, 2018).
But when you're running on empty—burning the candle at both ends, juggling the mental load, people-pleasing your way through life—your HPA axis (the system that regulates your stress response) gets completely dysregulated.
Your body flips what I call the "emergency brake." You're stuck in fight-or-flight mode, even when you're lying in bed trying to rest. Your cortisol spikes at the wrong times, melatonin production gets disrupted, and your circadian rhythm is completely out of sync.
Translation? Tired. But. Wired.
Or wide awake at 3am when you should be in your deepest sleep.
What Your Body Is Really Trying to Tell You
Whether you can't fall asleep or can't stay asleep, these patterns aren't a punishment or a sign that you're failing at life.
They're your body's way of saying: "I need support. I need rest. I need you to slow down and listen."
Your brilliant body is trying to guide you back to balance—back to a place where your blood sugar is stable, your nervous system feels safe, and your hormones can do their jobs without constantly being overridden by stress.
This is where cycle syncing, nervous system regulation, and hormone-supportive nutrition come in. It's where learning to honor your body's inner seasons—your four unique phases each month—becomes not just helpful, but essential.
Because when you understand the language your body is speaking, you can finally give it what it needs.
You Don't Have to Accept This as "Just Aging"
The patriarchal system we live in has conditioned us to believe that exhaustion, burnout, and hormonal chaos are just part of being a woman in midlife.
They're not.
You deserve to sleep through the night. You deserve to wake up feeling rested. You deserve to reclaim your energy and feel at home in your body again.
If you're tired of being tired—if you're ready to understand what your hormones are trying to tell you and finally get the support you need—let's talk.
Book Your Free Hormone Clarity Call
It's time to stop surviving and start thriving. In our call, you'll have space to share your story and finally feel heard. I'll help you understand what's really happening with your hormones, and we'll explore how working together can help you sleep deeply, balance your blood sugar, and reclaim your vitality.
Because insomnia and 3am wake-ups don't have to be your new normal.
References:
Briden, L. (2018). Period Repair Manual: Natural Treatment for Better Hormones and Better Periods (2nd ed.). Greenpeak Publishing.
Prior, J.C. (2018). Progesterone for the Prevention and Treatment of Osteoporosis in Women. Climacteric, 21(4), 366-374.
